It's been awhile. Honestly, I've just been really busy. Not as busy as I want to be but busy nonetheless.
I promise it's during the times when you are trying so hard to do better and create a relationship with God is when the devil decides to make things worse. The devil thinks that if he brings me down now, that eventually I'll turn my back on God in the hopes that things will get better. But I know that is not the case.
It has been rough. Really rough. Work has been back and forth. The bills I have to pay off just keep getting worse. New bills keep showing up. One of the cars just broke down so my entire family is trying to make it with one car. After finishing my law school applications, the very first letter I get is a rejection and it's from my dream school. Every day I get more and more stressed. However, what I have noticed is that I am praying more and more. Instead of just in the morning and at night I find myself closing my eyes and whispering a prayer to God. To keep my family and I strong, to help me through this hard time, to keep my faith strong. I can't say it makes me feel 100% better but it does give me some peace of mind. Right now all I have is my family and God to get me through this hard time, and let's be honest, my family has their own problems to worry about. So it's just me and God.
Sometimes I wonder if He is even listening. Then something small happens. Like a phone call to work 24 hours this weekend at almost double of what I have been making. While I want SO much more, I am thankful for the smaller things because that let's me know that God does hear me. I just have to keep telling myself "God is stretching me before blessing me. He is testing me so I can be prepared to have a testimony." I tell myself every time I get an email or phone call about a bill payment or not being able to work. The devil HATES it. This reminds me of Job, and how God took away EVERYTHING from him in one day. But Job continued to worship. That's what I'm doing. I am worshipping constantly. Thanking God. Praising Him. Because while things seem bad it could be SO much worse. I have a well working body that allows me to work. I have clothes to wear. A roof over my head. Food to eat. A college degree. A car that is working and can get us where we need to go. I praise Him anyways, to let the devil know that THIS TIME he will NOT defeat me and lead me astray no matter what difficulties and hardships that are thrown at me. I am FOCUSED!
No one said that once I dedicated my life to Christ, my life was going to be easier. To be real I think it gets harder. Because the temptations get greater and everything thats wrong is what you want to be a part of. I lift my hands and my voice to God and just thank Him for protecting me still and all I can do is continue to ask Him for help and be patient.
GOD IS STRETCHING ME, BEFORE BLESSING ME!
No comments:
Post a Comment