What I learned...

Well I did it...I was able to fast from SNS and I honestly believe it was a success. And I cant believe how much I learned about myself and the relationship I was able to gain with God. Even though I didn't read the scripture everyday I did read the verse of the day on my Bible app every day, and applied it to my life. Also what started off as me praying when I wake up and before I go to bed, turned into me praying throughout the day. 

When I first started this fast I wanted to mute the outside world so that I could hear God clearly. I had so many prayer requests and while not all of them have been answered I have gotten some serious blessings. When I first started I was only working a couple days a week but now I have gotten a full time job and also work weekend with another job! PRAISE HIM! My sister got her scholarship that she has been working SO many months for, even though we don't know the exact amount we all know that it's going to be enough. PRAISE HIM! I was able to submit all my law school applications on time. PRAISE HIM! Even though I have 2 rejections and a waitlist I still have more schools to hear from and my faith in GOD has increased so much during this fast that I know He will lead me and place me at the school I belong. I just have to wait and be patient. I have learned that so many times I have felt that I need constant male attention and would do so many things just to get it. But now I see that God will bring me the person for my life when I am ready. I dont need to put myself all out there or go back to past relationships. There is a reason that God tears people apart and even though I might not understand it I have to trust God. Yep, I do get lonely (habits you've had all your life are hard to break in 40 days) and wish I had a guy to talk to...but then I realize that I have God to speak with. PRAISE HIM! 

I have been taking notes when I go to church and there have been so many messages that I feel were preached exactly for me. There were times when I thought God had forgotten about me and wasn't listening to my prayer requests, and honestly sometimes I still feel that way, but I have gotten so much better with being patient. There are times when I lose my faith and get angry but I just dust the devil off my back and ask God to forgive me for doubting Him. It's just an amazing feeling of how this fast opened my eyes to so many things that God is able to do. From the big to the small. I can't wait to see how God is going to continue to speak to me and lead me in positive directions!

So am I still going to be using SNS? Well, yesterday afternoon I downloaded all my apps back. Kinda went crazy...but I am definitely going to tone down my use. Surprisingly, it's not as interesting to me as before. It's crazy how obsessed i was with it before this fast. But I am still going to use it, but now that I have other things to occupy my time I don't feel that I have to be on it 24/7. And of course I am going to continue this blog and continue to increase my relationship with God and marvel and the wonderful things He has/is done/doing. I am so excited, because I realize how blessed I truly am. Even times when I feel down and things aren't working out the way I want them to I realize I AM BLESSED! 

2 steps forward, 4 steps backwards...

It's been awhile. Honestly, I've just been really busy. Not as busy as I want to be but busy nonetheless.

I promise it's during the times when you are trying so hard to do better and create a relationship with God is when the devil decides to make things worse. The devil thinks that if he brings me down now, that eventually I'll turn my back on God in the hopes that things will get better. But I know that is not the case.

It has been rough. Really rough. Work has been back and forth. The bills I have to pay off just keep getting worse. New bills keep showing up. One of the cars just broke down so my entire family is trying to make it with one car. After finishing my law school applications, the very first letter I get is a rejection and it's from my dream school. Every day I get more and more stressed. However, what I have noticed is that I am praying more and more. Instead of just in the morning and at night I find myself closing my eyes and whispering a prayer to God. To keep my family and I strong, to help me through this hard time, to keep my faith strong. I can't say it makes me feel 100% better but it does give me some peace of mind. Right now all I have is my family and God to get me through this hard time, and let's be honest, my family has their own problems to worry about. So it's just me and God.

Sometimes I wonder if He is even listening. Then something small happens. Like a phone call to work 24 hours this weekend at almost double of what I have been making. While I want SO much more, I am thankful for the smaller things because that let's me know that God does hear me. I just have to keep telling myself "God is stretching me before blessing me. He is testing me so I can be prepared to have a testimony." I tell myself every time I get an email or phone call about a bill payment or not being able to work. The devil HATES it. This reminds me of Job, and how God took away EVERYTHING from him in one day. But Job continued to worship. That's what I'm doing. I am worshipping constantly. Thanking God. Praising Him. Because while things seem bad it could be SO much worse. I have a well working body that allows me to work. I have clothes to wear. A roof over my head. Food to eat. A college degree. A car that is working and can get us where we need to go. I praise Him anyways, to let the devil know that THIS TIME he will NOT defeat me and lead me astray no matter what difficulties and hardships that are thrown at me. I am FOCUSED!

No one said that once I dedicated my life to Christ, my life was going to be easier. To be real I think it gets harder. Because the temptations get greater and everything thats wrong is what you want to be a part of. I lift my hands and my voice to God and just thank Him for protecting me still and all I can do is continue to ask Him for help and be patient.

GOD IS STRETCHING ME, BEFORE BLESSING ME!

Day 18: Be Prepared...

Scripture: Matthew 25:1-13

The title for today is "The Parable of the Ten Virgins".Once again Jesus uses a story to tell us a very important message. The main point of this parable (and the last one Matthew 24:36-51) is that NO ONE knows the next time Jesus is coming back to earth. Not scientist. Not the Mayans. Not the guy on the street with the sign that says "The END Is Near". No one. As children of God we should already know this, so what I want to talk about is being prepared...And not just for the coming of God, but for certain things in your life.

In the  scripture there are 5 ladies who are prepared because they bring extra oil, and 5 ladies who are not prepared because they don't bring oil for their lamp. When the bride's groom come the 5 ladies without oil have to rush off to find some and basically miss their men and their wedding. As a single woman I often think about my future husband and how I can't wait to get married and all that. But what I've noticed is I can't expect to have a man in my life if I'm not prepared. Before I started this fast I felt the constant need to be on SNS and text people because I felt alone. I had (have) issues with being single, because I don't like being alone. So I would constantly hop from one relationship to the next. However, I see now that God is letting me know that I am not prepared to be in a relationship, because I need to focus on me first. I thought the emptiness in my heart was caused by being single, but I now see that the emptiness was God telling me that I need to talk to with God. So now when I feel alone I talk to God, and afterwards I feel so much better. I have to put my faith in God and realize that He knows what is best for me because He knows my future. At this point in my life God is preparing me. Not only for a future husband but for SO many other amazing things He is going to do in my life. I might think God is saying no to my requests, but He is saying  to be patient because I am not quite ready to handle all that God has to offer me. So let God prepare you so that when the time comes you are ready.

Also make sure you are ready for Christ return as well. Like I said before none of us know when that time is...So why not go ahead and be prepared now. So many times people will say, "I'll go to church next Sunday." "I'll accept Jesus into my heart once I finish acting crazy." "I'll start praying tomorrow..."
By doing and saying that are we really prepared? No. V12-13 tells us that we have to keep watch. And Matthew 24:44 says that we have to be ready. Procrastinating isn't helping ourselves. We have to prepare ourselves NOW, so we won't have any excuses not to be able to enter the kingdom of God. Yes, God does prepare us for many things, but not everything. Jesus coming back is something we have to prepare ourselves for by taking initiative and deciding to make our change today. Right now. Once we decide that God is going to be right by our side to help us. I heard a Pastor once say that if Jesus came back right now, would you be the man left in the field? Will you be the woman left grinding with a hand mill? Or will you be the one who is taken? If you are not 100% sure of that answer, then it is time to start preparing yourself.

Day 13: Don't let the devil define your future

Hey! So today I am gonna break away from the scripture from today because today I have to testify.

**The scripture today though is really good so take a look at it Matthew 23:1-39**

 I have to share....The verse that came up when I opened my Bible was Isaiah 25:1. When I tell you God will speak to you when you ask HE WILL DO IT!!! Yesterday at church the Pastor talked about how we have to Transmit. Transform. and Testify. I feel like I have done the first 2, but I have issues when it comes to me testifying because I get so afraid and worried about the judgments I will receive from people. But after talking to my friend and an intense experience today, I realized that in order for people to see what God can do for them I have to tell what God has done for me....

So many people think that I have had life easy or my life is perfect because I have been able to go to private schooling all my life and been able to complete college. Not having too many MAJOR stresses in my life. People think that since my parents and I have been going to church EVERY Sunday since I was born that I hardly do anything wrong and that I am just this perfect daughter. But let me end that thinking right now.Without a doubt I have been blessed. And because I accepted Jesus into my heart at a young age (7 I think) I have been given God's mercy. His mercy has PROTECTED me from so many bad things that should have entered my life and I am so thankful for that. However, just because I go to church every Sunday, sing in the choir, and dance for the Lord does not mean that I am this perfect person.

God and the devil are  probably the only people who know every single one of my mistakes. They both know my weaknesses, what causes me to sin, what causes me to doubt God. Notice how I said the DEVIL knows these things about my life too. When I was in college I went through this period where I didn't go to church and stopped praying and building a relationship with God. I felt that I was grown and could basically handle things on my own. I didn't know it then, but that was probably one of the lowest points in my life. I was doing so many things that my parents and God would not be proud of. Looking back, I get so ashamed and embarrassed. There are SO many bad things that should have come my way because of my actions. I could literally make a 3 or more page list of all the bad things that should/could have happened to me because of all my negative actions. But just because I left God, doesn't mean He left me.

Fast forward to now. I am slowly but surely working on rebuilding my relationship with God and each day I thank Him for what He is doing in my life. Now see the devil....he doesn't like that. He doesn't want to see me building a relationship with God. So today the devil decides to enter all up in my happiness. How does he do it? He reminds me of my past. He yells in my ear about wrong things I did in college and how I don't deserve to be forgiven. The devil tells me that because of what I did in the past I am never going to be worthy enough for God. So I should just give up. When I heard that I didn't immediately know it was the devil, so I started feeling all types of stressed, sad, embarrassed, and ashamed. But then I realized something....God sent HIS ONLY SON to die on the cross for me so I could be forgiven!

When I recognized that all I could do was cry and lift my hands in praise. In that instant I stopped being so ashamed to talk to God. I stopped feeling down on myself. I stopped holding my head down. What I did was praise God. When I say I literally YELLED at the devil to get off my back I mean it. I told the devil he will NOT define my future because of my past actions! God has given me a new slate, which He does every. single. day.  I will never wave my flag of defeat. I told the devil "No sir! You will not bring me down, get behind me!"

After about 30 mins of me yelling at the devil and praising God, I can honestly say that I feel SO much better, and I instantly knew that it was time to put my feelings of fear aside to share a testimony. Don't let your past define your future. Don't think that God can't or won't accept you because of all the bad things you have done in your life, because John 3:16 and Romans 5:7-9 tells us otherwise. I already know that as I get stronger with God the devil is going to try so many ways to bring me down. But this time the devil was put on instant hush mode. He was not ready for me to start praising God, he expected me to stress out and bring myself down. Not this time!!!

 Ok I think I have made my point, but obviously the Holy Spirit is still moving in me as I type. \o/ yaasss!
I just hope my testimony will shed some light on someones life who feels they aren't good enough to accept Jesus because of their past. Don't ever let the devil fool you into thinking that...

My Jam--->

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi4GQG8xESM

Day 9: Don't Get Caught Up!

Scripture: Luke 20:9-26
Ephesians 4:29

The scripture for today is another parable, which I read earlier during the week but the passage goes on to talk about the priests who are trying to catch Jesus in something he says so they can arrest him. So for today the main focus for me is v19-26. After reading these verses the phrase "Caught Up!" comes to my mind, because that is exactly what the priests are trying to do with Jesus. They are SO determined to catch Jesus when he messes up, that they are sending spies out. Talk about desperate. But they can't catch him messing up! 

One thing I have noticed in the more recent years, is the more you proclaim your love for Jesus and worship Him in public, the more people there are  WAITING for you to mess up so they can talk about you. Often times they will use words like "hypocrite" "fake" or "not real" because they think that since you talk about God all the time that you are now "perfect". They will follow you on twitter, instagram, facebook, etc. just to see if EVERYTHING you are saying is God-like, and the second it's not,

BAM!

They are ready to talk behind your back. Especially if you lived a not so God-like life before. How do I know this? Because I am guilty of doing some of those things. Raining on peoples praise. But reading this passage and spending time with God I notice 2 things. The first is that no matter what you do people are going to talk about you, specially when it comes to you and how you worship. But it shouldn't matter because your worship should only between you and God. A relationship that no one should be able to break. The next thing is that when you start walking with God, people are going to talk about you, and wait for you to mess up. But as your relationship with Him strengthens there should be fewer and fewer negative things that people should be able to talk about, because your actions will be different. Notice how in the passage the spies and priests couldn't catch Jesus in something. When our relationship with God grows it should be much harder for people to catch us in something. Of course we are not perfect, we are going to make mistakes, and there are going to be people there to rub our faces in it calling us hypocrites. BUT God is always ready to forgive us, pick us up, dust us off, and send us back in the right direction. Which is all that matters. So don't let the people waiting for you to make a mistake intimidate you, instead let them motivate you to want to do better and get even closer to God. When they see you doing better they will become silent (v26), and move on to something else. 

Each day try and do a little bit better and make sure your actions are reflecting Jesus, because people are ALWAYS watching and waiting. But let them gossip by saying, "Have you seen how (insert name) has really turned his/her life around? They must really be serious about this Jesus thing!" And you just walk on by with a smile on your face thinking "Yeh! I'm serious about this Jesus thing!" *swag walks away* Lol

Day 8: "Many are invited. Few are chosen"

Scripture: Matthew 22:1-14

I love this parable. I started work today and let's just say today was a tiring day. I almost didn't even read my scripture and write today. So glad I changed my mind.

Once again Jesus speaks to us through parables. If you haven't read the scripture go read it NOW before continuing with this blog...I don't have much to say but I do have a question. If Jesus invited you into heaven would you be able to enter? God is constantly inviting us to accept Him into our life time and time again. His grace and mercy is always there for us and He is just sitting and waiting for us. What I love about God is that he invites EVERYONE to enter the kingdom no matter what you have done in your past. Isn't that great! Because I know I have done some things in my past, but thankfully I have been forgiven and will be able to enter the kingdom.
What's most important in this entire parable to me is v8-10 and v14. I love these verses. God invites even the people who don't deserve to be invited (to be real none of us deserve it). But just because we are invited doesn't mean that we are able to enter. We have to Accept. Believe. Confess.

So many times I have ignored the invitation from Christ, but He continues to wait patiently. Waiting for me to make my decision to follow Him. And not only me but everyone else, because like Jesus said everyone is invited.

So, are you ready to accept His invitation?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t__ht_qNZag&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Day 7: Blessings 101

Scripture:Mark 12:1-12

In these verses Jesus tells a parable to the priests that are trying to find ways to convict Jesus and kill him. When Jesus tells a parable he is trying to teach us a lesson. I think each time you read a parable a different message can come from that parable. This time I believe there are 2 lessons that Jesus gives to us...

1. Fight for your blessings
2. Share your blessings

So many times we asks God to do something for us. And like I said before there is nothing wrong with asking God to help and bless you. But sometimes God wants us to take a bit of initiative, and get up and make something happen. Yes, we need to continue to pray and talk to God, but if you are sick take the medicine. If you need a job, get up and look. If you want to go to school, get up and start applying. If you want tot be surrounded by more Christian people, get up and go to church. Sometimes God wants us to FIGHT for our blessings. In v4-6 the man sends all of his servants and eventually his son that he loves to go and gather the fruit. The man wanted his blessing. And even though it took numerous attempts he kept fight for it. But there are sometimes when God wants us to just sit still and not do anything. We end up praying to God to help us, but we are so busy trying to fix it ourselves God can't step in and show us some things. What is faith without action? Part of asking God for help is having the faith that He will help us. But how are we supposed to know when we are supposed to get up and fight or sit down and let God?
LISTEN.
That's right. It's as simple as that. LISTEN. God gave us one mouth and two ears for a reason. God will tell us when He wants us to sit back and let Him handle all of it, or get up and go after it. If we listen to what He says we won't go in the wrong direction. But you will only be able to hear and understand God if you build a relationship with Him. The more time you spend meditating on His word and having conversations with Him, the easier it will be for you to know when God is talking to you.

Finally, I want to talk about sharing your blessings. I have already mentioned before about spreading good news. And after reading this parable I see that sharing and spreading is important for God blessing you. These tenants were able to get this land, and when the man wanted to get the fruit from the vineyard he planted the tenants didn't want to share any of it. Just selfish. But look what happens in v9, the tenants end up getting killed and the vineyard is given to someone else. What does this tell me? God can give you something wonderful, but He can surely take it away as well. The man wasn't asking for all of the land back, he only wanted the fruit from the vineyard and the tenants would rather beat and kill this mans servants and son than give him the fruit. I must admit there are times when I am selfish with my blessing. Especially when it comes to money. I be wanting to just hold on tight to it, not even realizing that what I have recieved didn't come from a certain person but came from God. And while I'm sitting there being stingy, I might be putting on hold on someone elses blessing. And before I know it God has taken my blessing away because I was selfish. Share your blessings. Who knows, you might be someone elses blessing! Someone might see you give a dollar to a homeless person, and that person might think "Wow, (insert name) really did the right thing by doing that. I need to stop being so stingy with my money and start sharing." When we share we bless others the same way God blesses us. When we start being stingy and selfish God sees it, and just like He did those tenants He will snatch that blessing back.

• I want to be able to have such a strong relationship with God, that I will know when He wants me to get up and do something or just let Him handle it. And when God does want me to fight, I won't be lazy but actually get up and do somethings on my own but with God at my side.
• So many times I want to hold on to my blessing because I'm scared I might lose it as soon as I get it. If God gave it to me He will make sure I keep it unless He decides I need something better. I don't need to be afraid of losing something that really isn't even mine to being with.